Americas birthday

Today I told Lila that today is the 4th of July, and that it is a holiday because it is Americas birthday! She is still learning what America is, but she does know that Utah is in America, Philadelphia is in America, and that she likes the American flag. She also loved that that she and I both dressed up in red, white and blue. She wore blue sticker earrings since she doesn't have anything blue unless it also has pink or is a pair of jeans. She looked so adorable in her red dress.

Not really any pictures today, but we did have fun swimming with cousins, playing at grandmas, visiting new baby Everly, and eating some burgers as part of our dinner prepared by Shelly and Matt (thanks!) there was also yummy apple pie. 

To top off the night we went to Darren and Danica's to watch some fireworks. I wouldn't have wanted to keep Lila up so late, but when we were driving home last night she was obsessed with getting to watch fireworks and would get super excited any time she saw some out the car window. Unfortunately she wasn't as excited about them tonight when we could see all of Provos fireworks including stadium of fire. Maybe she just doesn't like them as much from so far away. We'll at least I got a picture of her with a sparkler before she burned herself on one and refused to touch anymore of them.

Hope everyone had a good holiday. We are glad we live in America.

Fashionista

For a few days Lila looked so dang cute I had to send pictures to Todd at work. She is pretty much the best. Not sure how she can look so beautiful no matter what she wears.

Temple Trip

A few weeks ago we decided to go for a drive for family night. We ended up driving over to the Provo temple and walking on the grounds. It was nice because there weren't too many people there, since the temple is closed on Monday evenings. Besides visiting the Salt Lake Temple briefly, it is the only time we have done this. I keep thinking I need to take her more often while we are lucky enough to live so close to so many temples, but just haven't made it happen. She had a great time running around the grounds and was so excited to be at the temple that we have so many pictures of in our home. It was fun to talk about the fact that her mommy and daddy got married there. She was again a little angry with us for not letting her be there with us. That is one of the things she has been confused about lately. When we talk about daddy on his mission, she states matter-of-factly that she was home with mommy while daddy was gone. We have tried to explain to her that she was in heaven during a lot of these events, but she still gets mad that we didn't bring her with us. Anyway, it was clear she felt the spirit that was there and was very upset when it was time to go home.

Best lullaby ever

Tonight was the best session of bedtimes songs ever. After not letting me finish her first choice of song (the collection mermaid song I.e. Part of your world from the little mermaid), Lila decided to sing a song for me. It was awesome. I found out that I am the bestest mom, the greatest mom, that she likes my pretty dresses, and several other very nice things. There was even a chorus between verses where she either sang "I love you" or "I love her" over and over. There were also a few other parts where she mentioned that she likes her friends and her daddy too, but most of it was about me. Absolutely the greatest song EVER. after she finished I got her to sing a bit of it again for me. The video is black since it was dark while going to bed, but now you can all appreciate her amazing singing voice.

Goodbye, Grandpa Johnson

Several weeks ago Todd's grandpa passed away. Although he has been homebound for quite a while, his actual passing came very quickly. We were glad to be able to participate in the services held in his honor. Todd's mom and oldest brother were able to fly out from Philadelphia as well, so it was nice to have a few of us there to commemorate his life. Also, since he was a navy veteran Lila learned what an American Flag is and has been pointing out "Merican" Flags everywhere we go.

Remembering Rene M. Johnson:

After the flag was presented to Pearl, his wife

Margie and sons

Lila with Great-Grandma Pearl

One thing that of course was expected but still frustrating was Lila running away across the cemetery. There was a nice little area with a stream and a path with a pergola along it, lined with fake rocks to hold urns. Someone had put up several of these pinwheels, and when I tried to get this one back from her she ran all the way back to the family. I know these three pictures are basically the same, but she has such precious facial expressions in all of them.

Unfortunately, I never felt like I got to know Grandpa Johnson very well. But I do know that he and his wife raised a wonderful daughter who became the mother of my husband. It was clear he was a very good, hardworking man. I am grateful to have such wonderful ancestry in my family and that I could be a part it. 

Memorial Day

We had a very nice Memorial Day this week. We spent the morning with my family boing bowling. One of my favorite things about Monday holidays. Shelly was one pin away from bowling a turkey in her tenth frame. Bummer. Then we went out for ice cream at Macey's, which is always a delicious treat!

A bit after we got home, our friends Alex and Christina came over and we headed to Bridal Veil Falls to get some outdoor time. Lila loved it, and it was enjoyable for all!

After we came home and grilled up some burgers and hot dogs. Then we enjoyed some homemade ice cream and a movie. It was nice to spend a day just relaxing and being with people we love.

Of course, we also recognize and thank all the people that this day is set apart for. I don't know anyone personally or have any ancestors that I know of that died in active duty, but I recognize the great sacrifice of these men and women and the loss that their families feel when they don't get to come home. Thank you to all who are willing to serve, and a solemn thanks to the ones who have died protecting this wonderful country.

A Little Organization

Something I have wanted for a long time is a better way to store Lila's toys downstairs. Up until now they were piled in an old diaper box. Not the most exciting mode of storage. So, thanks to a visit from my mother-in-law, I finally got around to obtaining and putting up this little beauty. My MIL is actually the one who found one that was relatively inexpensive and fit our needs perfectly. She and Lila also picked out the box colors and I love every one. Now you are all jealous of me.

Before:

After:

Graduation

We did it. Of course, we actually graduated six months ago before Christmas even happened, but we finally got our day to celebrate it! It is funny, I always said I would never walk in my college graduation because they are so boring. But when I had the chance to walk next to Todd, well we couldn't pass up that opportunity. Going to school together was a lot harder than I think either of us ever thought it would be. We have such different schooling styles that doing work together was very difficult, but it was hard to not want to work together. But somehow we made it through. And it was so fun to be there in our weird looking gowns together. Yay us!

I'll try to post a few more pictures one day when I get my camera out. These are the ones from Todd's phone.

The unruly bunch of boys those teachers were so grateful to get rid of!

The happy couple

If you look close you can see Todd waving. We got to sit in the front row!

Fallen behind

I have wanted to blog about a million things over the last month and a half. However, I haven't felt totally up for it. When people ask me how I'm feeling (related to being? pregnant), I actually feel physically great. But that doesn't mean I'm at 100%. I have been having a hard time emotionally I guess you could say. I don't feel as motivated to do things or as much joy in things like I used to. So in response to the common question referenced above, I usually respond "I'm tired." I think it is the best description I can give without whining and complaining all the time. And the truth is, I wouldn't mind sleeping a whole lot more! But of course, I'm not able to much of that either.

So hopefully soon I will find that motivation to sit down and catch up on all the great stuff you people are missing out on. But for now, I will just honor the day.

Today I have felt a special appreciation for Lila. I tried to explain to her that it is because of her hat I am a mother and have there privelidge of having hat title on this special day. I don think she really understood what I was trying to tell her. But for some reason today I mostly felt grateful to have her in my life. She has made so much of who I am, and mostly in better ways. she is simply amazing, and I am still impressed by her evey day.

Also, I am sad I didn't do anything for my mom. Yes, I am admitting what a horrible daughter I am. Usually i stress for a few weeks before Mother's Day making sure I have a card in the mail for my mother in law and one ready to give to my mom. But since I've felt a little lost lately I didn't even do that. So just so you know mom, I really love you. You are such an example of love and sacrifice and giving I never could have asked for more in a mother. I have tried very hard especially as I have gotten older to always fully appreciate the things you give and do for me. I used to take them for granted. But I know that behind every gift, every hour of babysitting, and every word of encouragement is someone who loves me so deeply and wants the best for me. And I never want to forget that or lose sight of the amazing woman you are. Thanks especially for being my mom even though I'm technically an adult now. You have no idea how much I have needed you. Thank you for always fulfilling that need.

A New Venture

So I have read a lot of things online lately (well, probably not that many) that have made me think a lot. I wish that I was able to have discussion groups on everything. I really love to hear other people's points of view in kind, respectful ways. Which is why it is unfortunate that I don't get many opportunities to talk to people. When I read posts and comments, they are so often rude and unforgiving. I actually want to know where other people are coming from when I talk to them, rather than pretend to hear what they have to say so I can "correct" them.

So I decided to put some of my thoughts down. Most of the things I read about pertain to the LDS church, so I imagine most of my thoughts will be on topics of interest to this group. But not all of them. I have now written two posts. The first to try and explain what I am trying to do, and the second is a first attempt at actually doing it.

I guess we'll see how it goes. I share about it here because I hope that anyone who reads my blog knows me and would be willing to talk to me about things if they disagree. Who knows, you might change my mind!

If you are interested, here is the link.

http://uncomments.blogspot.com

Addendum on April 1: I was thinking of other things I wanted to write about and there were so many on different topics I decided to change things up a bit. I changed the link above to reflect my new url and have moved over my first actual post so you can view it there. It is now more general instead of focusing on being LDS. thanks! (oh, and no April Fool's, just fyi).

Pulled Over

I feel really bad about contributing to a sad situation. I borrowed my parent's van on Monday to move some big stuff. I noticed that their registration was expired. The date on it was 12/13. I figured they just must have forgotten to put the sticker on. I was going to mention it to them. But then I didn't.

Well, my aunt Laurine is in town so has been driving this extra, expired car. She got pulled over. And I was wrong, the registration hadn't been kept up. That's what happens when a postcard never comes and you rarely drive a car. Remember how Todd got pulled over last year since we didn't put our sticker on? Those pesky things.

Luckily, she was let off with a warning since she's from out of town and it wasn't her car. My mom mentioned that it is kind of lucky because in only a few weeks the registration would be 90 days overdue and being pulled over would mean being impounded. Eek!

Last night we all drove down to Santaquin for my grandpa's 85th birthday party. On the way down I was told the story of Aunt Laurine and the policeman. Of course, my parents are very responsible so as soon as they figured out that they were overdue my dad took the car in to be inspected and renewed the registration. The paper was on the back window to prove it. I felt really bad I hadn't said something earlier. Then Laurine could have been spared a frightening incident.

Funny thing is, I drove the van home that night, and guess what?! Pulling onto the freeway the cop behind me started flashing his lights. I think it was the first time in my life that I wasn't freaking out getting pulled over. (I mean, it was the first time ever being pulled over.) The cop just came up and said he hadn't seen the paper registration in the window. He did ask if I had the sticker, but I explained that my it was my parent's car and they had just renewed it since they don't drive it very often. And off I went!

Later my brother texted me asking if the cop gave me a ticket. That made it even better. He had seen me stuck on the side of the road! I was glad to pique the Darnica's interest in what was going on with me at that moment. I was glad to report it was all just a mistake!

As a side note, when the cop left Lila asked why that guy was in the road. She is so observant.

Another Blow to My Nursing Pride

Not really. But it sort of feels like it. I need to recertify my ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) this month. If I let it lapse, I will have to do a 2 day course in the future instead of the one day refresher course. I had really hoped that I would have found a job by now. Don't get me wrong, I understand it is pretty impossible to find a job when you aren't looking. But something I heard has made me afraid to look for jobs within Intermountain. Something that makes me think my old manager would discourage others from hiring me. Which is totally unfounded by the way. And I don't know if I want to find a job outside of Intermountain. There would be so much more to learn- a new computer system, new protocols, new training styles, all new people. So I have sort of just sat on the whole thing.

And now it is going to cost me $125 to learn what medications to give during CPR, even though I will never be able to use them. (Probably). It has been almost a year since I worked a shift, and I am worried that it won't be long until all of my skills have been forgotten. I wonder if it will be another 30 years until I work again. I guess we'll see. By then I will be so old and unexperienced no one could possibly want me! haha. Good thing I have my kids to love and keep me company. Hopefully over time I will forget all that other junk.

My Dear Aubrey

Today was a very special day. One of my very good friends Aubrey Rees tied the knot with a great guy.

The day I met Aubrey was my first day orienting on my unit at my new job. It happened to be my first job as a nurse. The charge nurse asked Aubrey to orient me and she made it clear that she didn't really want to do it. She was only a few months into her own nursing career and so was still learning herself, but of course I took the lack of enthusiasm personally. Luckily, it didn't last too long.

We both worked nights at first and became good friends. Then later we both worked days and it was awesome! She is such a great nurse and I came to be very excited to see her name on the board when I came to work.

We share a love for Chick-fil-A and now often eat lunch there together to stay in touch since I'm not working anymore, and even if I was she has moved on to work on an ICU floor instead (because she is so talented).

Anyway, I was so excited to share this special day with her. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a pretty awful day for me with waking up super early, forgetting my temple recommend, not being able to bring Todd to the luncheon as I had planned, and getting lost on the way to the reception. Among other things like feeling unattractive in my clothes that don't fit well but people are still saying "What!? I couldn't even tell that you were pregnant!"

But just thinking about how happy I was made me tear up several times. She was a beautiful bride (don't have proof yet because one of the stinky things I did was forget my camera and my phone is no good for pictures). I felt so lucky to be in the sealing ceremony with her, and just felt so happy to see her sealed to her sweetheart forever (thanks to my bishop for answering his phone so I could get in).

It was almost like there was some unseen force trying to distract me from the wonderful day that it was with all the stinky things happening. But I was undeterred! I just can't be any happier for a wonderful gal who deserves to be treated like a princess for the rest of forever. I hope she is able to find all the joy in the world and more through her new "relationship status."

I love you Aubrey, congratulations!

(Picture stolen from someone elses Facebook post)

Merry Christmas

Christmas last year was a very emotional but wonderful time. I know it is a bit late for Christmas post, but there is a reason for my stalling so you will have to deal with it. The very unfortunate thing is our lack of record of the event. Todd has always spent most of his time video taping on Christmas Day, because one of his favorite Christmas traditions is to spend the evening of Christmas Eve watching old Christmas home videos. Well, the brand new Ipad I bought him for his birthday at the end of November just completely died. Gave out. Broke. The dude at the store told us there was nothing he could do to get the videos off before trading it in under the warranty. Todd had backed up everything else with occasional connections to his computer, but I guess the videos have to be saved manually, so none of them were saved. It is pretty tragic. So sorry I don't have much to share. But I do want to record a bit for our memories.

First of all, Todd dragged us all the way out to Philadelphia. I wasn't super excited to go, mostly because I had just flown out there twice recently and Lila is horrible on the plane and all the packing and stress and stuff. Also, it is nice to be home for the holidays. For Todd, that meant going to Philly. For me, that would have meant staying in Utah. But I love my in-laws and I knew it would mean a lot to everyone if we were together for the first Christmas without my father-in-law, Nick. So we booked the flights and packed our bags. (I hope no one is offended by my honesty here. I very much love Todd's side of the family and being with them.)

One of the things that happened when we got there is that I felt absolutely awful. I know it's cliche, but I really felt like I had been run over by a semi. I was exhausted, sick, got a lot of headaches, and wasn't in the mood to do very much. But I tried to be a good sport. One of the really fun things that we did was have a big party with some of the friends and neighbors of those that live there. Stephanie and Kelsey put most of it together, and I was very impressed with the results.  The only pictures I have are of the two food tables. Not sure why. But we also played minute to win it games and had a sweet photo -op with silly Christmas hats and such. Also, Todd and I made out big in the white elephant exchange with and Apples to Apples game and microfiber slipper mop things to wear on our wood floor. I usually end up with something like an ugly used handbag.

This picture stolen from my sister-in-law, Lisa's blog. Thanks.

We did some other fun things like a Christmas light scavenger hunt, eating lots of delicious food, watching those old home video's, and getting each other sick. It was funny because Stephanie posted about our treat stop after the Christmas light scavenger hunt. I remember looking at it and being embarrassed that I looked pregnant in it and being so sad that I wasn't. Now looking back I think it's funny because I don't think I looked pregnant but I really was. Hormones I guess.

Todd and I had a fight the Sunday before Christmas because he was sad that I wasn't participating much in the family activities. I was spending a lot of time napping and avoiding conversation I guess. He remembered that I didn't especially want to come in the first place and thought I was mad or didn't like his family or something. So I explained to him (in a not very nice way) that I was physically ill, that I wished I could be more involved, and the main reason I did want to come was to be with his family because they are so great. I know most people don't publicize their marital arguments, but I just think this one is funny since neither of us knew why I was so sick. Or why I was so ornery.

Well, a few more days went by and we did some food shopping for the many grand feastings and last minute Christmas gifting. We literally got all of Lila's presents from my mom's house before we came out. A few beanie babies and a doll my mom said she had had in a box forever and didn't know if she would ever use it. Luckily she also got some things from Grandma Itri and her cousins, so she was happy. Todd and I didn't get much since we spent money on getting out there. But I don't really care about presents much anymore, so it was fine. Anyway. Christmas Even we did watch some of the old Christmases but I think I slept through most of it. But I was glad Todd got to participate in his favorite Christmas tradition that we don't really get to do when we are out in Utah.

The other thing we did on Christmas Eve was the Nativity. It was very low-key as I think it should be, except when no one would be a wise man. I don't think people should be forced into doing these things or doing them perfectly, but we need characters! Luckily, Scott stepped up and filled in the role, and I joined him a minute later. So it all worked out in the end. Here is the one picture I have of Brian as King Herod (a great role for him to play), Seth and Reagan over on the left who shared the role of Joseph, Lila as the angel, and Crystal as the "after" Mary. Jensen is in the picture too, but wasn't so excited about dressing up as anything. I love that we did this because Lila is still putting scarves and blankets on her head and saying "I'm Mary!" So we have gotten to talk about Jesus and his mom for a long time after. Of course, remembering Jesus Christ is the most important part about Christmas. I have actually never done a nativity with my family, so this was a first-time experience for me. I was glad to do something to to really celebrate the Savior.

Christmas Day was fun. We actually did end up getting a lot more stuff than I had anticipated, and a few things that were wonderful to get. Todd's mom made all of her sons a blanket out of Nicks old shirts and ties, with sports themed fleece on the back. They are all so beautiful and meaningful and Todd uses his every day. Rob and Stephanie got us in the gift exchange and gave us a beautiful frame that says "When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure." It has several pictures of Nick in it, including one from our wedding day. Todd and I both broke into tears when we opened it. There were a lot of other sweet moments as well. For sure in those moments I was so glad that we did end up coming out.

Here are a few pictures from Christmas morning. We opened presents with just my mother-in-law Margie, brothers-in-law Kyle, Brian, and Dan + Kelsey his wife. We don't really have any pictures of us because of the whole video thing. The one with Todd that is blurry and the one of the side of my head are the only pictures we have of me and Todd. We have a few more of Lila because she liked to get in the way when other people were opening presents, and helping Grandma Itri open her presents.

After morning presents, Scott, Lisa and family joined us for breakfast. Then we all went over to visit Nick's grave. It was a really sad but nice thing for us to do. It was nice for us all to have a chance to be there together. We definitely missed Nick the entire holiday season, both when we were in Utah and back in Philadelphia. There were some times when it was really hard to be without him. It was just comforting that we could all remember him together and that the family has all done such sweet things to help us all keep a part of him with us as we go throughout our lives.

After we got back to the house, I wanted to go take a nap. I was completely exhausted. Todd asked me to take a pregnancy test but I didn't want to waste my time with it. I was too tired and I was so bored of the constantly negative result I didn't want to deal with it. But he really wanted me to, so I peed in a cup and told him he could run a test if he wanted to. When he came in to wake me only 3 minutes later when I was already just about asleep, I was a little intrigued and probably annoyed. I don't remember what he said. I think it was something like "Is this what I think it is?" And lo and behold, there were two lines. I just rolled back over and started crying. Todd stayed and held me for a little while while we let the news sink in. This little kid will forever be remembered as our Christmas miracle. And he truly is.

We had prime rib for dinner that night, and I was glad that I like my meat well done so it didn't look suspicious that I wasn't eating the meat with everyone else. Kelsey was the only one eating well done with me, because she just had a baby last week (so was pregnant at the time). Todd was already getting paranoid about whether or not my food was cooked well enough. As a side note, he has seen me eat cookie dough a few times and didn't even say anything. When I was pregnant with Lila he once tried to pounce on me for licking a spoon from a cookie dough bowl.

So this post honestly has almost all the pictures we took while we were there. There were some other things we did, but I have no proof of them so my squishy pregnant mind has already forgotten. And I feel that I have a legitimate excuse for not remembering to take hardly any pictures.

In case anyone is wondering, I didn't tell anyone about our precious little addition until we had a confirmation ultrasound. I remained in disbelief that it could be real, plus I had no idea when my due date would be since my body doesn't go by the usual method of calculating. When we first saw him he was dancing for us. I assume because he was so happy to see us (even though he couldn't. We could only see him.) And he was very nice because in his joy he stretched his little legs out and gave us a measurement that put me two days further along than the first measurements did. This kid is already making my life easier. I think he will be a good little boy. I was 12 weeks, 2 days at the time of our first ultrasound. Which meant we could tell the world as soon as we wanted. Todd texted his family that day, and I told my family when we all got together that Sunday for dinner. Except that I called my grandparents to make sure they were coming (so I could tell them over the phone of they were not). Well at the end of our phone call Lila wanted to chat too. So I gave her the phone. The first thing she said was "I'm going to be a good big sister to our new baby!" Beans spilled.

And for those of you who read my last post, Lila now hugs my tummy in the morning and says "I love your baby boy." But she also asks frequently when I will have a baby girl.