Back to High School

I have to say, my life just keeps going backwards. First I revert to before I was married, and now I've reverted all the way back to High School!

My little sister, Lauren, is in Africa with my dad. She will be missing a few weeks of school. She went to school on Thursday, then she and my dad left for Kenya on Friday morning. She happens to have Chemistry with my old teacher, that I loved. She also had homework that needed to be turned in. So, I decided to do my little sister a favor. On Friday morning I got dressed out of Lauren's closet. I wore her shirt, her jeans, and her shoes. Then I parted my hair on the side she parts it on (we normally part it on different sides). Then I got her homework and her backpack. I went to work for a little while, then left in time to get to Lauren's school before chemistry started at 10:25. I met up with her friend Mayson in the hallway, and walked with her between classes. Lauren had drawn me a picture of where she sits in Chemistry, so I just went in, sat down, and pulled out Lauren's homework.

Class started, and it was just the same as it was 7 years ago. Different kids made announcements, then Mr. Shelton asked if anyone had a funny joke to share "I recall that 'laffy taffy' jokes are not acceptable". When he announced, however, that he was out of candy, no one volunteered. He then answered some questions about the homework. They had just learned to balance equations. Then it was time for the quiz. I folded Lauren's homework so I couldn't cheat (the class all was doing the same thing), and wrote "THIS QUIZ WAS NOT ACTUALLY TAKEN BY LAUREN FABER" at the top. Then I proceeded to balance the 4-5 equations. I turned in the quiz with the homework.

Then the lecture started. I just sat there for a minute, not sure what I should do. Then I decided that I better take notes. So I got out Lauren's notebook and a pencil. I noticed a boy in the front row looking back at me, and mouthing to the girl I was sitting next to "Is that really Lauren?" I gave him a funny look. A minute later he whispered "Lauren!" to which I looked up at him. He asked if I had cut my hair or something. I raised my eyebrows and shook my head. Then I went back to my notes.

The girl I sat next to was really nice. Her name was Aubrey. We chatted a little, and I told her where Lauren really was. I was just enjoying my time there, and wishing I could take Chemistry from Shelton again. We were talking about combustion reactions, and how they always produce carbon dioxide and water. Then Shelton called on me. "Faber. If combustion reactions are always occurring within our bodies, why do we need to drink water?" From the front row I heard a quiet "it really IS Lauren!!!!" from a bewildered classmate (that was my favorite part). So I answered "Because we need more?" And Shelton continued with the lecture "Because we need water for a LOT of things." Awesome, I got it right.

I did notice during the class that a lot of people were looking at me funny. Another kid from the back row also called out "Lauren" to see if I would look. Which I did, and I waved back at him. It was great.

After the lecture, everyone was doing their homework out of the textbook. Shelton was passing out some paper to go with their next lab. I raised my hand when he was by my row and asked if I could go to the bathroom. Shelton asked what happened to me, and I told him I got plastic surgery. Then I told him I really just wanted to say hi and turn in Lauren's homework for her. He asked if I remembered anything, and I said I was excited that I did. He then said "well, this is really easy stuff." Ah yes, the most cynical and demeaning teacher I ever had. Somehow he was also the most encouraging one. Somehow the subliminal message behind his coarse words really shines through. I then told him that he should probably not actually give Lauren points for the quiz and he said "Why not? She was here, I saw her take the quiz." Again, one of my favorite teachers. At that point I decided the game was over and I needed to go back to work. Pretty much everyone was staring and talking as I got up to leave. Everyone was wondering who the heck I was. I said goodbye, and "I'm off to Africa!" and left behind a confused group of kids.