Dear Lauren

I doubt anyone will be shocked if I say that my blogging suffered during the holidays. Things got pretty crazy busy. I know we are the only ones that happened to. Everyone else took it easy and weren't sure what to do with their time. But making another post was never far from my mind because my mom prints out and sends them to my wonderful sister Lauren who is on a mission in Australia. I want her to know how much we love her, and I want her to know the things that have been going on in my life so we aren't strangers when she comes home. Also, kids sure grow a lot, so I want her to recognize mine. Especially since Nick has literally grown out of nothing since she left. Actually, she was the first person we told about our pregnancy since we got to talk to her on the phone only hours after we found out.

I recently found out that my wonderful sister is completing her mission the first week of March. That is only two months away! And since she is halfway across the globe, there probably won't be very many more packages sent over by my mom. In fact, it is possible my mom won't have time to print out all the work I've done today to post. She is going to pick up Lauren; plus it is birthday season. Planning a trip across the world and celebrating a birthday every week can get pretty crazy. But in case this gets out, Lauren, this is for you.

To my beautiful sister:

We have tried hard to make sure Lila knows you. Some times have been better than others when it comes to looking at pictures, but we make sure she prays for you and she hears us pray for you too. I can't wait for you to spend time with her, as I know how much you want to be the favorite aunt. Unfortunately, both Nikenzie and Shelly have simply been a wonderful blessing in helping me with babysitting. Well, it is very fortunate for me but leaves you with stiff competition when you get home. But, should you choose, I am happy to let you babysit whenever you want when you get home. I watch my friends adding to their families much quicker and in larger numbers than we have, yet I still find it difficult to manage these two little bodies. Any time I can get a break I appreciate it!

On that note, Lila is a good hearted girl but is also constantly testing me. It is so exhausting trying to stick to my guns and not give in as she ignores me, defies me, and forces me to carry out my threats. I have had to make it clear to Todd that he has to be careful what he threatens. For instance, he can't threaten to take away all her shows for a week. It doesn't affect him much, but there are some times I need to be able to put on a show for her so I can do something else. For instance take a shower. She is so needy and clingy it is almost impossible to not be tripping on her unless she has the iPad in her hands with a show. Truthfully, I have found the only other way to be successful is to ignore her for a while. I don't really like doing either thing, but I just can't be constantly playing with her or paying attention to her. I suppose I have also started giving her small chores to do with me. That has been good. She helps me clean the bathroom, do the dishes, and set the table mostly. I have to have the most patience when she helps me do dishes. She really likes to squirt the soap and scrub things. When I am smart I wear an apron when she helps. Anyway, I have tried hard to do a good job of disciplining by exacting punishments that fit the crimes and always following through if I say I will do something or take something away, etc. when she doesn't listen. Not sure why I felt you should know about my disciplining habits.

I don't think there is much to say about me. There are a few people in my ward that I really like and want to get to know, but just can't find a way to really do it. I have tried organizing playgroups and invited people over, but rarely had success. There are some people in my ward that I do see a lot, and I really like them. But it is rare that I actually hang out with other women just because. I probably see Kayla's mom the most, but it's usually to hand off each others kids or plan primary functions. With Todd's weird work schedule I find it hard to find good times to ask others to hang out with me at a time both our husbands will be gone. I even made a month schedule of weekly playgroups and got pretty much no turn out. Anyway, I feel like there are other people that feel lonely and want to get out more, but I just don't know how to convince them to do it with me. I am so grateful for visiting teaching and can't tell you how much my testimony of that program has grown over the last few years. I sure love visiting my sisters and I have loved both of my recent companions that have worked hard with me to make sure our girls are taken care of.

I think of you a lot as you work and grow. I really hope you are able to sustain the good habits you are cultivating. I'm not sure exactly what I mean by that, since you simply can't live the same way at home that you do on a mission. But I love hearing your zeal and enthusiasm for the gospel. I get really excited when I see your letters in my inbox. I am so happy for the things you have learned and keep praying that the changes you have made will be lasting. I mean eternity lasting. If you can keep the attitude you have now, you will be happy forever! One of the things that I still haven't perfected is figuring out what the spirit is trying to tell me. It certainly is a learned skill. I hope as you prepare to come home you are making plans for staying sensitive to that voice that will never lead you astray. I think that is the one thing I wish I had that serving a mission certainly would have given me. I think I am over the days of pining away wishing I had chosen to serve, but I would definitely like to have that skill more developed than it is.

Sorry if this is all awkward or irrelevant to you. I am good at rambling, so when I write letters like this I consciously try and keep things brief. I think it makes things come out odd. But oh well. I still want you to know that I love you so I will send you my strange chitter chatter. We love you. We are proud of you. And I am so excited to have you back home with us!