Stressed

Have you ever been so stressed that your head just starts hurting? Like the long-term kind of stress. As in days long-term (as opposed to hours). It's like my head actually hurts, rather than I have a headache. Impossible to describe. Just so many things. Hard things. Frustrating things. Unfair things. Sad things. I just hope it ends soon.

I have gotten to the point where when people ask me how I am I can't even say I'm fine. I tell them that I'm not doing that well.

But, just so you know, I am aware of how freaking awesomely amazing my life is. Yes, I do know that despite all the day to day stinky stuff, I still have a beautiful and healthy daughter, a husband who loves me and is on track to be able to take care of me the rest of my life, a good job that pays well in the meantime, a wonderful (and true) religion to help guide my life, safety and security in a my community, more than enough food to eat, and loving family close by both on my side and Todd's. So yes, I do understand that in the broad scheme of things I have no room to complain.

But yet, my head still hurts.

I'm crafty!

I did something crafty. I am not very creative so this is a big thing for me! Here is a picture of our old desk. We weren't really using it anymore, and we were going to give it to DI. But instead I did this:

My niece and nephew have already gone to town on it. It kept them entertained for quite a while. Mission accomplished! Of course it doesn't really erase very well, but I don't think the little kids will care that much.

Teefers!

I finally caught those little buggers on camera!

Comments

I love comments! Every time I post I check for the next few days to see if anyone has commented on my fun and witty passages. (haha). So I am making a concerted effort to comment more on the blogs that I read. I love to read them, I love when people update them. And most of the time I thoroughly enjoy all that I read. And now I will try to be better at telling you all. Yes. We'll see how long this lasts.

Root Canal and Fruit for Breakfast

Yes. I am the unlucky one. I thought I was taking good care of my teeth. I had a cavity filled right before I got married. I had done well since then, no new cavities to be filled. But at my last cleaning in January, I found out it had cracked. My dentist fixed it the same week Lila was born. It was sore for a while, then the pain would wax and wane. It was worst when I would eat. But I just had a new baby, then I started back at work so I ignored it until my new cleaning. Yup. Infected. Root canal. My dentist said some teeth can't handle having too much work done on them. This particular cavity had been difficult, I remember both times, different dentists getting that "hmmm. how should I go at this?" face and the appointments taking extra long.

So yesterday I had my root canal. One of the roots would't stop making pus, so it was hard for my dentist to dry it in order to fill it. Yummy huh? Aren't you glad I'm going in to such detail? Anyway, I am lucky he was eventually able to dry it because if he couldn't he would have had to leave it open to drain and I would have had to come back later to get it filled. So he was able to fill it, but said it would probably hurt a lot as my tooth tried to make more pus and pushed against the filling. Well, he was right. I had Top Ramen for dinner with the noodles all broken into little pieces so I could swallow without chewing. Whenever I accidentally touched my teeth together, it caused sharp, stabbing pain. Some ibuprofen every 6 hours didn't quite take that away.

So this morning I knew I would starve unless I got something to eat that was chew-less. So I loaded Lila into the stroller, and walked to jamba juice. It is only about 8 blocks there, some good exercise, and of course Lila loved it since she got to be outside. Then when we got home I fed her some bananas. And she went for it! I think she finally decided she really liked them. She did eat them one other time in the evening, but this was the 5th attempt, so she is 2 for 5 on bananas. I think she is doing a lot better in general about eating. I think at first maybe she just didn't want anything other than milk. The spoon and the new flavors were a bit much for her. But now she is slowly getting used to it and I think she likes it more and more. So we had a nice morning with fruit for breakfast!

Lila turned 7 months old on Sunday!

Lila has been growing like crazy. She is more fun every day. Here are some things about her:

ticklish. smiles. usually takes 2 naps a day. wakes up to eat once a night. either doesn't like eating in the morning or doesn't like fruit. crawling. little hair wispys are getting longer. has left scratches all over moms arms, face, chest, and back. doesn't really like baby toys. but loves mobiles. loves peas. hates turkey. likes squash. likes ham until you give her peas. loves mommy. loves sucking on paper. has two little half teeth on the bottom. I only found out about the teeth because I let her suck on my finger. loves the outdoors. walks when you hold her hands for her. still likes pulling hair. gets lots of comments on her pretty eyes. smiles for the camera. won't let me get a picture of those teeth:

Dishes

Why are dishes so awful? Why do they pile up so high? How come they start to stink so fast? What makes the food stick so much to dishes that even procrastinating a little makes it seem as if they have become one? Why does it seem to take longer to clean up the dishes than cooking and eating combined? How did my mom convince me to use a food net catcher thingy over the drain to protect my garbage disposal? Isn't that why we have garbage disposals? So why do I do it anyway? Did you know I saw on the news once that the kitchen sink has the most germs on it? (compared to toilet flushers, playgrounds, doorknobs, cell phones, and a myriad of other everyday things).

Despite all this, I still feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when that sink is empty, the sink disinfected, and the dishwasher humming. I think I get some kind of pleasure out of doing such an awful task because I do it so well. Yes, I scrub each dish until it looks clean before putting it in the dishwasher, and most of the time I would rathe handwash the items that didn't fit in one load so I can officially empty the sink. I guess I probably go a bit overboard. But gosh dangit my dishes are sparkling and it's all because of me!

My favorite part of the day

So I have a new thing that has become my favorite thing to do on my days home alone with Lila. In order to understand why this is my favorite part of the day, you have to understand that I do not have a cuddly baby. She is so wiggly and hates to face me tummy to tummy. Any time I hold her that way she twists and fidgets until her back is towards me.

So in the mornings we get up and hang out for a while. Then I feed her and we go for a walk. We walk not too far to the park and swing on the swings. At first she sits on my lap. Then after a while I flip her around and she rests her head on my shoulder. For some reason the whole time we are swinging she doesn't wiggle at all. By the time I finally decide it's time to go home my bum is pretty much numb because I don't want to shift my weight on the swing and bother her stillness. Sometimes when we walk home I even wrestle with the stroller with one hand so I can keep her still against my chest. And if you have ever pushed my stroller you even with 2 hands it can be hard to keep it on course. But it is so worth it for the little while I get to have her so close to me.

Yup. Definitely my favorite part of the day.