Our New Angel

Adding Nick to our family has been a roller coaster of a ride. First, we just expected him to come as soon as we invited him. When we started to realize that getting pregnant wasn't so easy this time, there was some sadness and frustration. That eventually turned into despair and a total loss of hope. Then, at least for me, came a peace and acceptance of the fact I might only get to raise Lila. I decided that she was enough, and I had wasted enough of my sad feelings on this mystical person that might never even exist.

After we realized we would get to add a new baby to the family, there was a bit of relief and joy along with some confusion. I wasn't sure how to believe this new discovery given the mental process I had just gone through and the conclusions that took me nearly two years to reach. I almost felt like it wasn't real. As the time came closer to actually meeting the little boy, I started to worry about how it would affect my relationship with Lila. We had spent three and a half years developing that relationship and creating a specific bond. Since Lila is so good at talking and has such good comprehension of things, we really had a personal bond that feels beyond what I ever would have expected while she is still so young.

Since Nick's arrival, there have been some nice things and some confirmations of my fears. Nick is wonderful and my love for him is ever growing. Although I have been tired and especially at first in a lot of pain, I almost haven't noticed because he is so sweet. The hardest thing has been not being able to do as much with Lila as I am used to. She of course has had some good moments and some difficult ones. She does act out at times, and is beyond helpful during other times. I think the worst part is that she often is not wanting to spend time with me in the moments that I have the energy for her and Nick has no needs. So when she wants to be with me I am busy or tired, and when I want to and can spend time with her, she is distracted with something else.

Besides the craziness of making this huge adjustment, I have felt more happy. More optimistic that in the end everything will turn out wonderful. I am realizing how blessed our little family is and that we are so much better for this precious little addition.

Just to be clear, I am every bit as in love with this little man as any of those moms who only rave about how wonderful their new babies are and never talk about the hard parts. I'm just keeping it real.

Now here is some information about Nick's newborn photo shoot for your enjoyment.

We started by wrapping him in this lovely handmade blanket given to him by his great-grandma Pearl.

Then we took away the blanket and got a few in his diaper.

Then we had to do some of these little naked shots. I'm not personally a huge fan of the bum crack shots, but I decided I was okay with this. After all, he did spend the past nine months like this. Yes, he did pee on the photographer while she was trying to calm him down. Sorry!

During this time I was having a hard time keeping Lila out of trouble. She was all over the place trying to be destructive or trying to somehow ruin the pictures we were taking. Finally, her moment arrived and we got a few with her in them too. Of course, that was all she really wanted and was suddenly very happy and very obedient.

After that we tried to get a sentimental picture that I will talk about later. Nick was not cooperating, so I fed him for a few minutes while my awesome photographer took Lila outside for a few shots at no extra charge. Lila of course was thrilled by this.

When they came back inside we tried again to get our special shot. We had a baseball glove that belonged to Nick's grandfather, the one he is named after who passed away last year. In fact, the glove is so old it may have been passed down from grandpa's dad. An heirloom of the family just like my baby's name. And of course we had to throw a baseball in there too. 

Well, Nick did not calm down even after eating some. Lucky for me, and again to the credit of my amazing photographer, she packed up her things and came back the next day, which was a Sunday. He was a bit cranky again and it took about an hour to get just a few shots. We ended up only being able to get them by letting him calm down and fall asleep with the binky in his mouth, then pulling it out and snapping a few shots before he realized it and woke up. But in the end they turned out so beautiful and we will forever have them as tribute to my father-in-law that we miss so much.

A HUGE thanks to Alexa Pond, the exceptional lady behind the camera. She was not only kind, patient, generous, affordable and gave us all the hi-res images, but her skills turned out to give us some of the best pictures we have ever gotten. We found out about her from a friend, and often when we have used photographers that we found through friends or family they have turned out nice but not seeming as professional. Not in this case. I think every picture turned out simply beautiful and I am so grateful for Alexa and all she did for us. We couldn't have asked for anything better to remember the entry of our little man.

If any family members (i.e. Grandma Lila) want some of these pictures without the photographer stamp, let me know. I just wanted to show my appreciation for Alexa by not putting her work on the internet for anyone to steal. Any pictures on here without it are only because she didn't include that picture with her name stamp on my CD.