Almost Missed It

Tummy time while mommy plays the harp. I almost missed it, but out of the corner of my eye, Nick took matters into his own hands and ended tummy time all by himself. Here he is after his first successful flip.

Naturally, I put him back on his tummy to observe. He laid there with his head up, smiling at me. As I reached to get the camera back out for another shot, he rolled again! So I put him on his tummy yet again, got a few pics and took a video. So, you can all witness roll number three in Nick's life. Hooray for Nick!

For the record, Todd was watching the Cowboys Redskins game. I tried to call to him to come see but he didn't hear me. It is hard to hear things when you are involved in something else. So then I brought the boy downstairs and put him on his tummy in front of the TV. I guess he didn't want to perform in front of a distracted audience. He cried for a minute, then smiled at me when I got down in front of him. Then he just put his head down and sucked on his fist. No more rolling for tonight I guess.

Best Day Ever (said thick with sarcasm)

My wonderful day on Friday:

This is a picture of me after I almost burned my face off lighting our grill. The lighting in the pic is bad but you can see some charred hairs around my face. I also had some lovely stubble on my arms, and char and soot in my nose. The smell didn't go away for three days. I'm glad I wasn't disfigured for life.

I also woke up to discover I left the chicken for dinner out all night. Had to find something else for dinner.

Had an appointment to get our furnace cleaned. Found out we needed a new furnace. It was installed today. Here it is. 

Went outside to pack up our stroller for a family outing the next day. It had been stolen right off our porch. Here is where it usually is.

Luckily, I did get a chance to go on a brief date with Todd, and had a nice conversation with my mom that left me feeling very blessed. I'm glad nothing happened that will have eternal consequences. Then I got to wake up the next day and go to Lagoon, courtesy of my parents. At least that day is behind me. Still lots of good things to look forward to.

2 Months

I didn't even realize Nick was two months old today until dinnertime. In fact, a few people at church asked me how old he is and I told them "almost two months." Interesting how time can seem to go so slowly, but then you suddenly realize how fast it's flown by. I think my little man looked pretty schnazzy in his tie at church. He was able to keep up his sharp appearance until I was ready to put him in his jammies- then he promptly pooped up his back and all over his outfit. Thanks for waiting until the end of the day, bud.

At two months Nick:

Still eats about every 3 hours. Sleeps well most nights. Is more fussy, but still a good baby. Loves being swaddled. Still takes the binky, but other times gets mad when you try to give it to him. Can fit into some of his newborn clothes, and some 0-3 month clothes are way too big. But most of the time the 0-3 works great. Graduated to size 2 diapers yesterday. Has the most perfect, adorable smile. Starting to coo and giggle when we make faces at him. At least once a day makes mommy's cheeks hurt from mutual smiling at each other. Doesn't like driving. It might be in my head, but I think he recognizes and likes mommy. Likes going outside. Some days sleeps most of the day, and others is awake more than half of it. Still likes baths. Loves his swing.

Lila is getting more used to him. She certainly loves him. Sometimes she gets a little jealous. About a week ago I was playing with him and telling him how much I love him, and Lila asked me if I loved him more than I love her. It was sad. I have to be careful when she is around to say how cute both my kids are and how much I love them both. Then this morning Nick was crying while I was trying to do Lila's hair for church, and I told him he needed to relax because mommy needed to take care of Lila and he would have to wait. Lila said "Mommy, don't be mean to Nicky!" and then told me I should help him calm down before doing her hair. I thought it was interesting because one of the reasons I was doing it was to show her that he isn't always the one who gets the attention. She is such an amazing big sister.

 And of course, his beautiful sister.

This is What Happens When You Have a Big Sister

Thankful

Today Lila thanked me for a few things, and then she said "thank you for everything you do for me mommy!" Then she gave me a big hug. How does a three year old think to say something so thoughtful?

The last few weeks I have been trying to figure out how to make this "increased capacity to love" thing work. Everyone says when you have a new baby you are just able to love more. I must admit the first few weeks I started to disbelieve that notion. I always took it as a fact that it wouldn't be a problem. Then I would feed my baby boy and want my girl to just leave me the heck alone! I would feel so guilty that I didn't want her to be there with me. And then I would be doing something with the girl and the boy would start crying, and I would ignore him so I could focus a few more minutes on her.

Instead of feeling an increase of love, there was mostly just an increase in guilt. I loved both, but still felt like I could usually only love one at a time and so then I naturally had to neglect the other during that time.

I am happy to report that I am starting to find the right balance. Maybe it's because I am feeling physically more capable and not quite as exhausted (though still very tired), but at the very least I find more enjoyment in being with my babies. I am having more fun playing with Nick even though he doesn't really play back very well. I am again able to play and have fun with Lila as if she is the only thing in the world. The other day I was holding Nick, and Lila and I ran circles around the house laughing and giggling and just loving every minute. That was great because I was with them both.

Having two kids is hard. But I am finally starting to see how rewarding it is to add to your family. Even though finding the right adjustment has been very difficult, it has also brought a lot of unanticipated joy. Seeing Lila love her brother is more precious than I ever imagined. Thinking of all of us as a family together is beyond wonderful. And I know as time goes on, the time we spend together will be more and more meaningful because both of these angels are in my life.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else because sometimes I ramble incoherently. But if you don't yet have two kids, I have to say you are justified in being worried about how a second child will affect your relationship with your first. It is hard and scary and you might feel a little bit of guilt. But it is possible for all the good things people say about second children to come true. Work hard, be patient, and don't kick yourself too hard. It's worth it.