Fallen behind

I have wanted to blog about a million things over the last month and a half. However, I haven't felt totally up for it. When people ask me how I'm feeling (related to being? pregnant), I actually feel physically great. But that doesn't mean I'm at 100%. I have been having a hard time emotionally I guess you could say. I don't feel as motivated to do things or as much joy in things like I used to. So in response to the common question referenced above, I usually respond "I'm tired." I think it is the best description I can give without whining and complaining all the time. And the truth is, I wouldn't mind sleeping a whole lot more! But of course, I'm not able to much of that either.

So hopefully soon I will find that motivation to sit down and catch up on all the great stuff you people are missing out on. But for now, I will just honor the day.

Today I have felt a special appreciation for Lila. I tried to explain to her that it is because of her hat I am a mother and have there privelidge of having hat title on this special day. I don think she really understood what I was trying to tell her. But for some reason today I mostly felt grateful to have her in my life. She has made so much of who I am, and mostly in better ways. she is simply amazing, and I am still impressed by her evey day.

Also, I am sad I didn't do anything for my mom. Yes, I am admitting what a horrible daughter I am. Usually i stress for a few weeks before Mother's Day making sure I have a card in the mail for my mother in law and one ready to give to my mom. But since I've felt a little lost lately I didn't even do that. So just so you know mom, I really love you. You are such an example of love and sacrifice and giving I never could have asked for more in a mother. I have tried very hard especially as I have gotten older to always fully appreciate the things you give and do for me. I used to take them for granted. But I know that behind every gift, every hour of babysitting, and every word of encouragement is someone who loves me so deeply and wants the best for me. And I never want to forget that or lose sight of the amazing woman you are. Thanks especially for being my mom even though I'm technically an adult now. You have no idea how much I have needed you. Thank you for always fulfilling that need.